Today’s date is April 14, 2024, marking the inception of this website. The motivation behind its creation stems from my adult daughter’s recent bipolar episode. The overwhelming stress and anxiety that I face each time my daughter experiences a new episode has compelled me to begin to share our experiences to offer guidance and support to others who may be navigating similar challenges with their loved ones. My hope is that by sharing our experiences we can provide help to others who also feel helpless in similar situations.
My daughter’s diagnosis is bipolar disorder with rapid cycling and psychosis.
I believe it’s important to begin by recounting the most recent experience leading up to the present. On Thursday (4/11/24), everything seemed normal with my daughter (so I thought). I assumed she had been getting sufficient sleep, taking her medications as prescribed because she had been stable and maintaining good spirits for several months. However, by Friday afternoon, I noticed she hadn’t responded to my last couple of texts; concerned, I decided to call her and when she answered, she sounded distressed and different. Drawing from past experiences with her bipolar episodes, I realized she was not well and needed my immediate attention.
When I returned home, it was evident that she was experiencing hallucinations, as indicated by her laughter at internal stimuli and fixation on her reflection in mirrors and other reflective surfaces. Her behavior was markedly different from her usual self. [ Note to readers; recognizing your loved one’s typical demeanor under normal circumstances is crucial]. I now understand that the best course of action during these episodes is to give her space and monitor her closely. Additionally, contacting her healthcare provider to discuss medication adjustments is essential to prevent hospitalization risks. Unfortunately, during this episode, her provider was unavailable, leaving me with limited choices which are typically as follows:
1. Take her to the emergency room if she consents. 2. Contact another provider for medication management. 3. Visit an urgent care center. 4. Utilize her 24-hour online health services.
My last resort with her is typically to take her for in-person hospital visits, as this often leads to evaluations and potential transfer to a psychiatric facility. Through experience, I’ve found that adjusting her medications early during episodes can prevent the need for psychiatric hospitalization. It’s important to note that her willingness to take medications also plays a crucial role in avoiding hospital admissions. Thankfully, I have been very lucky (so far) in that she has been always willing to take her medications.
It took me multiple attempts to get her online provider to respond and of course when they finally did, my daughter was not talking and would not give them permission for me to talk to them. Because she is an adult, I fall prey to this inconvenience sometimes. [I do have an advance healthcare directive and power of attorney, but these do not help with over the phone consultations].
After while I began to suspect that she had maybe missed a couple of days of her medications or hadn’t been sleeping much. This is because she rarely experiences this type of episode unless she misses her medication or doesn’t get enough sleep. Therefore, I went to her room to view her pill container and found numerous empty marijuana cartridges. This of course brought to mind that the situation was worse than I thought. I immediately contacted her boyfriend (who last saw her) and eventually learned that she was high, hadn’t slept in about a day and had been drinking. I cannot be certain, and I will probably never know, but my belief and opinion are that this episode was brought on from excessive drug use and lack of sleep.
Long story short, my daughter was in a manic state which is part of her bipolar disorder. Mania for her results in the following behaviors:
Laughing at internal stimuli, suicidal thoughts, whispering things, grouchy, bitchy, yelling, screaming, sad, loving, apologetic, feelings of worthlessness, feeling like a burden, hopeless, happy, depressed, energetic, joyful, restless, paces, listens to loud music, punches a punching bag every few minutes, lacks appetite, and has severe INSOMNIA (only sleeps an hour or two a day).
As I mentioned earlier, my daughter suffers from bipolar I with rapid cycling and psychosis. Which means that all of these moods are rapidly cycling all day. She does not stay in one state for long periods throughout the day.
I will now explain how I was able to get her back to stability by this morning around 10am. Again, I am not a doctor and not offering medical advice, I am telling you how I helped my daughter. You should always consult a doctor in a medical emergency or take your loved on to a medical provider in a crisis that you do not know how to handle. Another side note is that I know my daughter well and work in the mental health field, therefore I have a variety of experiences that have helped me to decern what is an emergency for my daughter.
- The first thing that you should do is assess if they are a danger to themselves or others. If they are, call 911 and ask for assistance. Please be patient with your loved one. If you do call 911 ask them to respond, “quietly with no lights or sirens” and be sure to let them know that your loved one is experiencing a “MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS.” Also ask them if they have a mental health team that can assist with the call.
- Remain calm and practice patience, they do not mean to be hateful, and most times will not remember what they say or do when they are experiencing psychosis.
- PRACTICE PATIENCE. If you cannot control your anger or what you say to them, then you should not approach them or talk to them. Find someone who has the patience and understanding to talk to them.
- DO NOT ask them questions that may cause their behaviors to escalate (you should already know what questions will make them angry).
- PRACTICE PATIENCE. Be compassionate and helpful. Get them water, food, or whatever they may need to be comfortable.
- Check to see if they have been taking their medications, or if they have been using drugs or alcohol.
- Call their friends/family to gain further information about their last interactions with your loved one. Ask them to come help you if you need support with the situation.
- PRACTICE PATIENCE. Remain calm and attempt to contact their medication provider. Ask the provider for assistance.
- Take them to an urgent care or hospital for evaluation if you cannot get ahold of their provider.
- Take them to the emergency room to be evaluated if you cannot find a provider to assist you with their condition.
- Call 911 and refer to # 1 above if your loved one begins to be more than you can handle.
I am very lucky in that I have many friends and family members that I can call who are aware of my daughter’s diagnosis and who also work in the mental health field and who also have experience with bipolar disorders. I also utilized the above-mentioned steps. Ultimately, I was able to get ahold of a provider who assisted in my daughter’s medication management. This helped me to regulate her moods and get her to sleep more and more each day. In the meantime, I practiced patience and was compassionate, choosing the right moments to get her to eat or take her medications. This means that I waited for the times she was in a good “mood.” As of today, and at this current moment (7:05 pm EST), she is doing about 80% better.
I will not attempt to talk to her about this “episode” for about a week. I want her to stabilize more and have her own reflections.
When the time comes, we will have a talk about her choices and how to help her to make better choices. This conversation will ultimately be much more and hopefully lead to her abstinence from drugs and alcohol, but only time will tell.
It is difficult to say whether her drug and alcohol use is what brought this “episode” on, or if it was stress and anxieties, or something else that I have yet to learn.
I will continue to add to this website more information and share more about our journey. Until then, research the web as much as you can, ask your providers questions, and practice patience. Remember to practice your own self-care as well. You can also ask me and my daughter questions through the “contact” tab.
Thank you to everyone who helped me through this trying period (you know who you are). ❤️😘🥰
M.
4/15/24
Well today is a new day, and a good day. My daughter is almost back to 100% and has opened up to me about her recent episode. She doesn’t remember much, nor what caused her to go into psychosis. She did tell me that she hadn’t slept much in a few days before the episode and that she thinks that she may have forgotten to take a couple of days of her medications. She also admitted to smoking marijuana and drinking a little.
Today, she has shown a slight improvement in her appetite. Over the past few months, she has been consuming very little food daily. When we consulted her medication provider, they expressed no concern, suggesting that her reduced hunger was likely due to her medications. They advised us to keep an eye on her eating patterns and weight. Additionally, the provider attributed her weight loss to the discontinuation of one of her previous medications.
In my previous post, I mentioned the challenge of pinpointing whether drug and alcohol use directly contributed to my daughter’s psychosis. However, I am also aware that factors like sleep deprivation, stress, and anxiety consistently play a role in her psychosis as well. Specifically, my daughter’s major stressors typically revolve around employment, whether it’s losing a job or struggling to find one. I must also acknowledge that my persistent reminders for her to secure employment are not beneficial. Additionally, her incomplete high school education is another area of concern that I have recently been addressing with her. I understand that these stressors significantly impact her anxiety levels, and I should refrain from constantly reminding her about them. As a parent, it can be frustrating to witness her lack of initiative in completing what may seem like simple tasks to others but are genuinely overwhelming for someone dealing with her anxieties.
I guess what I am trying to convey is that I should remember that I need to choose my battles and try not to poke the bear so often. Maybe cut back to bi-monthly reminders instead of daily or weekly ones. Afterall, her weel-being is more important to me, and learning how to help her is more important to me right now.
M.
4/22/24
Well, it’s been a few more days and all is still well. My daughter is 100% again. She has her appetite back and eating well. We also got to talk to her Nurse Practitioner who has been handling her medication management for the last year or so. Her Nurse believes that her marijuana use may have brought on her mania and eventually her psychosis, but she is not 100% sure. I also found out that my daughter has started smoking marijuana again and says that it helps her calm her brain. For now, I am not pressing the matter, but we have had discussions about the potential consequences of her smoking marijuana, and she is fully aware of what can happen.
Ultimately, it is her life and her body, and she knows what happens when I am not available to help her through her psychosis; (hospitalization). Therefore, for now, I am just happy she is happy and thriving. We have had many discussions about her choices and how they affect me and others as well as the potential for my own breaking point. The truth is, when you see a loved one suffering it is hard to be mad, you just want to help them and the only thing to do afterwards is to educate them and teach them how to better manage their lives and to continue to learn about their illness. The more I learn, the more I can teach her. Individuals with this illness do not think the way most of us who do not have a mental illness think. That is why it is a learning experience for everyone involved.
I will keep posting in hopes of helping others. I will also keep building this blog so that someday other people can share their stories and advice as well.
M.